At our last junior and senior assembly I spoke to our ākonga about living their life deliberately.
To do something deliberately means that you do it consciously and with purpose. It means that instead of simply allowing the day to happen to you, you make choices about the person you want to be and the direction in which you want to move.
Every day, whether we realise it or not, we are forming habits. Those habits gradually shape our character, our relationships, our wellbeing, and our future.
The question is not whether you are developing habits. You are. The question is whether the habits you are developing are helping you become the person you want to be.
I recently saw an episode of the Long Way Up about two motorcyclists, travelling up South America. They visited a school high up in the Bolivian mountains where a school had been set up for the indigenous people. It got me thinking about how hard it is in some countries to access education. Some children face extraordinary challenges simply to get to school. Some travel for hours. Some cross dangerous rivers, climb steep mountains, walk along narrow paths, or travel in difficult weather. They do this because they understand something that can be easy for us to forget. Education creates opportunity.
It gives people knowledge. It opens doors. It increases choices. It offers people a better chance to shape their own future.
In New Zealand, education is a right. However, the opportunity to attend a safe, well resourced school, with qualified teachers, supportive staff, technology, sports, arts, cultural activities, and people who care about your success, is also an enormous privilege.
That privilege comes with a responsibility. Your responsibility is to make the most of it.
That means more than simply arriving at school and sitting in a classroom. It means participating. It means listening, asking questions, attempting difficult work, accepting feedback, participating and mixing with people beyond your immediate group of friends.
You cannot make the most of education by remaining on the edge of it. You have to take part.
Sometimes students wait to feel motivated before they begin. They think, “I will work when I feel like working,” or “I will participate when I feel confident.”
But successful people often act before they feel ready. They make deliberate choices.
They open the book.
They ask for help.
They contribute to the discussion.
They practise the skill again.
They attend the sports training.
They do not wait for success to arrive. They deliberately take small actions that move them towards it.
This brings me to the first question I would like you to consider.
What deliberate things do you do every day to help yourself?
Perhaps you arrive on time.
Perhaps you bring the correct equipment.
Perhaps you complete your work rather than finding reasons to avoid it.
Perhaps you ask questions when you do not understand.
Perhaps you go to bed at a reasonable time, eat properly, exercise, or limit how long you spend on your phone.
These actions may not seem dramatic. In fact, most important habits are not dramatic. They are usually small decisions repeated consistently.
A student who reads for twenty minutes today may not notice an immediate difference. But a student who reads for twenty minutes every day is gradually building vocabulary, knowledge, concentration, and confidence.
A student who completes one piece of work carefully may not transform their results overnight. But a student who makes that effort every day will eventually see the difference.
Your future is not shaped only by the big decisions you make occasionally. It is shaped by the small decisions you make repeatedly.
The second question is:
What deliberate things do you do every day to help others?
We live in a world that can feel increasingly isolated.
We have more ways to communicate than ever before, but that does not always mean we are more connected.
People can spend hours looking at the lives of others online while feeling lonely in their own lives.. We can become so busy, distracted, or focused on ourselves that we fail to notice what another person may be experiencing.
That is why kindness and connection need to be deliberate.
Do not assume someone else will speak to the student who is sitting alone.
Do not assume someone else will help the person who is struggling.
Do not assume someone else will pick up the rubbish, include the new student, thank the teacher, encourage a teammate, or challenge an unkind comment.
Be the someone else.
Helping others does not always require a grand gesture. It can be as simple as saying hello, making room for someone, listening properly, sharing your notes, offering encouragement, or noticing when someone does not seem themselves.
You may never fully understand the effect that one small act of kindness can have.
A kind word might be one moment in your day, but it could be the moment that changes someone else’s day.
Our school becomes stronger when people do not think only about what they can get from the community, but also about what they can contribute to it.
Belonging is not something that other people create for us. We all help to create it for one another.
The final question is:
What deliberate things do you do every day to help keep yourself positive?
Being positive does not mean pretending that everything is perfect.
It does not mean that you will never feel disappointed, stressed, angry, or sad. Those are normal human emotions.
Positivity is about what you deliberately do when life is difficult.
It is about recognising that although you may not control everything that happens, you can often control your next response.
You can choose to speak to someone rather than keeping everything inside.
You can go outside, exercise, listen to music, spend time with people who make you feel better, or take a break from social media.
You can remind yourself of what is going well rather than focusing only on what is wrong.
You can replace “I cannot do this” with “I cannot do this yet.”
You can stop comparing your real life with the carefully selected images of someone else’s life.
Social media often encourages comparison. You see someone else’s achievements, appearance, friendships, holidays, or highlights, but you do not see their worries, disappointments, arguments, failures, or ordinary days.
Do not use someone else’s edited highlights to judge your whole life.
Protecting your wellbeing requires deliberate action.
Choose carefully what you allow to fill your mind.
Choose people who encourage you rather than constantly pulling you down.
Notice the good things in your life, even when they seem small.
Ask for help when you need it. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It is a deliberate and courageous decision to move forward.
So, I want you to think honestly about your own daily actions.
What deliberate things do you do every day to help yourself?
What deliberate things do you do every day to help others?
What deliberate things do you do every day to help keep yourself positive?
Do not think only about what you intend to do. Think about what you actually do.
Good intentions matter, but good intentions without action do not change very much.
You have been given opportunities that many young people around the world desperately want. Do not allow those opportunities to pass unnoticed or unused.
You do not have to transform your entire life today.
Choose one deliberate action.
One thing that will help you. One thing that will help someone else. One thing that will help you remain hopeful and positive.
Then do it again tomorrow.
Because the person you become will be shaped by the things you deliberately choose to do, every single day.
